At Menergy, LLC, when people come to us for help stopping their abusive behavior, they must give us permission to call and talk with you, their current and/or former partner. During this phone conversation, we’ll ask a lot of questions about how your partner behaves at home. Are they bossy? Do they yell around the house? How often? Does it frighten you? We spend a lot of time trying to understand what it would be like to be in a relationship with our clients, or to raise children with them.
One of the things we will tell you during this phone conversation is that not everyone who enters treatment will change at all, or change enough. We tell partners not to make any decisions about the relationship based solely on the fact that our client has entered treatment. The bottom line is, it may not work. We also know that even if your partner does stop being abusive that this doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship can or should be saved. That will be for one or both of you to decide.
We encourage partners to get support both from their communities and from the amazing advocates who run domestic violence programs for abused partners. While your partner is working on stopping their abusive behavior, it helps to have people who can listen to you and who can tell you when something seems off or not quite right. To access free and confidential support, crisis counseling, safety planning, referrals to resources, and admission to Women Against Abuse’s safe havens, you can call the Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-866-723-3014.